Position: Backrow/ Hooker
Fun Fact: A.K.A. Manbaby; Kevin may be the next step in human evolution, only time will tell. All we care about is that his hairless legs allow him to keep him dominating rucks and smashing ballcarriers for 80 minutes.
John 'JT' Twomey
Position: Second Row/ Backrow
Fun Fact: The break out season last year belonged to JT, fueled by his new physique. In an attempt to steal some of his girlfriend's attention back from their new dog he hit the gym harder than ever and if she doesn't appreciate his God-like body his team certainly do.
John 'Johnway' Conway
Position: Center / Full Back
Fun Fact: Johnway is CYM's utility back. In spite of his injuries he remains a stalwart of the team. Marked out early in his CYM career for his talent and pace he has yet to emerge from his younger brother's shadow in regard to rugby, his career or his parent's general ranking of their children.
Adam 'Lynchy' Lynch
Fun Fact: The posterboy for Monogamy Ireland, his multi-faceted play stands in stark contrast to his personal life. Winning player of the year and other awards with the club he has come back for more this year with a silver-lust that cannot be satisfied.
Brian 'Bourkey' Bourke
From: Dublin (The City of Rathmines)
Fun Fact: The heart and soul of CYM rugby club. Whenever a match is lost we can all forget about our own mistakes and usually falsify memories of some handling error from Brian which would then explain why we actually lost somehow.
Yann Du Bot
Position: Centre/ Wing
Fun Fact: Italian speaker, occasional mustache wearer, harmonica player and all the other things one pictures in a Frenchman. Yann is all and more. An exquisite dancer with a heart of gold, his only notable weakness to emerge during his time in Ireland is train tracks and how they interact with bicycle wheels.
Position: Prop/ Second Row
Fun Fact: (Former) Captain Fantastic, also known as the Big Show or Bonecrusher Hall. Nothing can stop Lachlan when he gets going, even a team mate's leg. Last to leave the field and the bar. Lachlan's retirement from rugby at the end of 2016/2017 was short lived - he will be back on the pitch to break bones for the 2018/2019 season.
From: Your Dreams
Position: Whatever you like
A tackling, offloading, free running, drop goal taking, punchline making, broken legged hand holding, scrum destroying Renaissance man who likes to dabble in Photoshop. The hole he left in the club is a large one and the quest to fill Dave's hole will go on and on... *Update* The hole is filled... by Dave!
Damien 'Damo' King
Position: Wing/ Fullback
Fun Fact: The resident academic of CYM and chief interceptor of opposition passes. CYM's King Kicker - Damo hasn't missed a conversion since 2002. Damo runs a computer lab full of science in DCU where he has all manner of automatons doing fancy calculations, and yet he's never at training on time.
Joshua 'The Young' Lynch
Smouldering looks run strong in this family. Brother to Adam, Josh had lots to live up to at arrival to the club but endeared himself straight away to the CYM faithful by scoring a try on debut and then calling out the referee and three Coolmine players to the carpark 'to sort this out'. He was soon substituted.
James 'Jamesy' Harding
Position: Prop/ Hooker
Fun Fact: Jamsey's phobia of astro turf coupled with an alarming need for coach's approval were not missed over the past few months. That being said he is still the only man to have eaten the entire EuroSaver menu in one sitting
Fiachra 'Swaz' Cunningham
Has played with former Coach Neville since he was just Unused Sub Neville, Fiachra has seen it all. Is currently putting his love of stirring crap to good work with a job in water sanitation. When not on the pitch, Swaz can be found peacefully sleeping on the floor of the men's locker room
Blayne 'Train' Keogh
Fun Fact: In the gladiatorial machismo environment that is metro rugby the efforts of wide players often go underappreciated... that was until Blayne played wing for a game. In the off season, Blayne captains one of CYM's talented tag-rugby teams,
'The Blayne Train's - where Sexy rugby is the only rugby being played.
Mark 'The Shark' Hamill
Position: Prop, Hooker
A man so legendary, they named a week after him. CYM's unofficial mascot, the haunting chant of 'Duh nuh... Duh nuh nah ah...' lets the opposition know to clear the beaches - there's a shark in the water! The front row is strong with this one and we're hoping that he's able to continue to harness those Jaws-like powers for the upcoming season.
Position: Scrum Half
Despite living over the wall from CYM, Seamus didn't realise that there was a rugby club so close to him and it wasn't till mid last September that he joined us. Seamus reassures us that the fact that this time just so happened to be the end of preseason was merely coincidence
Ian 'Sexy Boy' Skuse
Ian made his first appearance at the club in early October 17', leaving him behind on calls, fitness and a few running jokes. This became most apparent when he set up McCauley in the Madden final for his first try in several years thereby bringing to an end CYM's easiest punchline. It's a testament to his likeability that he has made it past this rocky phase of his CYM career.
Joe 'Apollo' Furey
Position: Back Row
Joe loves two things in life, floral shirts and just. hitting. lads.
In CYM, he has found a place for the latter but is still waiting for acceptance of the former. The Furey can usually be heard long before he is seen, be it on the pitch or the loudness of his various shirt and white trousers combos.
Brendan 'Ginger Bren Man' Scannell
Position: Back Row
Known for his red hair and his love of even redder meat, Brendan made a big impression in the club with his ability to find tickets for any international that you could want. Distributing them with the carefree élan of a benevolent dictator has made Bren a popular character around the club. Long may his reign continue
Ramon 'The Hispanic Panic' Escriva
Position: Back 3
Ramon had never played rugby before CYM and was a quick study. He'd kick any ball, tackle any player, chase any kick. No cause was lost to him as one Wesley player learned when in the act of casually placing the ball between the sticks, Ramon arrived to remove the lad from the ball and his ribs
Dillon 'The Dumptruck' DeBrun
Position: Back 3
The man with possibly the best beard in the entire club, a friendly rivalry has developed between himself and another claimant for that award, Yann. Whenever they're not armwrestling over who has the best beard, they're doing a pushup contest in the carpark over who has the best beard and when's he doing nothing else, he's being admired by the CYM bar staff.
Cathal 'Duff Man' Duffy
Position; Scrum Half
As good at spotting a gap in a nightclub as he is on the pitch, his go to move is to let Dillon do the hard yards before slipping in and distributing his business card (with a handwritten number for that personal touch) to whatever lucky female is in front of him.
Tom 'Spare Ribs' Higgins
Position: Scrum Half
During the harsh snow in the early parts of the year, some players were not happy with training in the baltic temperatures. Tom Higgins was one such man. So desperate was Tom to avoid training in the snow, he took the only option available to him, minor heart failure. A new reason to miss training not even Blayne Keogh himself had come up with.
Jamie 'Gaughan in 60 seconds' Gaughan
Position: Hooker/Back Row
The definition of good things come in small packages. Jamie shows that size isn't everything in rugby, the ability to run through the legs and under the swinging arms of defenders also helps. His first CY try typified this as Jamie ran past and under several desperate tackles to emphatically slam the ball down. 15 games later however and he's still waiting for his second
Ben 'The Mystery Man' McNally
An international man of mystery. Known best for being one of the few men around to successfully pull off a goatee, his playing highlight was scoring two tries from rolling mauls in one match. Ben knows it was a pack effort but also had no problem in reminding people of the time he scored two tries in one match.
Jonathan 'The Gentle Giant' Epstein
From: South Africa
Position: Second Row
CYM's own personal BFG. He's large and has no problem being in charge as long as you're ok with it. However, his secret identity as Junction Jonny of 98FM fame was outed midway through the season. It should have been obvious though from the start as he always had a knack of running into traffic on the pitch.
Shane 'The Eyebrows' Byrne
The big man with the quick feet. The only thing sharper than his sidesteps are his eyebrows. From silently gliding over agility ladders to smashing through tackles, Shane can almost everything. The only thing holding him back from being the new Tadgh Furlong is his engine. A Rolls Royce player with a Mini engine. It might only be 10 minutes but what a 10 they are
Guess whose back, back again. Briac's back, tell your friends. His first training session was memorable for several extended periods of him lying motionless on the ground while trying to get his breath back. Thankfully, his fitness has since improved enough that he can score the occasional try and return to his resting place on the wing without collapsing.
Liam 'Prime Time' Conway
The nurse from Limerick, living between Tipperary and Dublin, working in Cork and with more than a hint of a Cork accent at this point. Liam is a Munster man through and through and is from whatever county won at hurling the last weekend. His impact on CYM has been massive with a rake of trys taken on the pitch and a rake of pizzas taken in a Valencian restaurant, single handedly delaying the kitchen there by several hours.
Position: Back 3
Nick has three loves, rugby, squash, and tagging his girlfriend in cute animal videos on Facebook. The damage to our timelines was nearly forgiven when Nick almost scored the try of the season last year. Sliding through two defenders to catch a grubber about to bounce over the try line. He then confused the try line with the 5 metre line and turned and placed the ball away from the line. A CYM player through and through.
John 'The Pilot' French
Position: Back 3
No man has caused such a stir in the club since the arrival of Handsome Joe Heavey 5 years ago. A favourite with both the women's and men's team, John cemented his place as a CYM legend when we discovered that he was also a pilot. He has since gone on to become the only man to break Handsome Joe's monopoly and be nominated for the bi-annual Handsome Joe award for excellence in the field of being handsome, CYM's highest honour.
Brian 'John Eales' Warde
Position: Second Row
Another work colleague of Adam Lynch, this is Brian's first experience with rugby and he has taken to it like a duck to water. No highlights video is complete without a clip of Brian collecting a kick off and going round wingers with ease. He has even brought his GAA background to the fore by taking a few conversions, some of which have even gone over.